This is my second Father’s Day after my dad’s passing. As I was looking through my photos, I realized that I have very few of him without my mom. They were devoted to each other for 63 years of married love. Since I am also remembering my ordination during June, I thought to share with you a photo of that day with Archbishop Charles Chaput and my parents. I fondly refer to this photo as “Three Fathers and a Mother.” And I am filled with gratitude for each of them.
I am grateful for my mother who gave birth to me and loved me through the years in countless ways. I am also grateful for Archbishop Chaput as the father who ordained me. But today I’m reflecting more on my biological father, Ernest, Sr. Briefly, he was a man who worked, loved and laughed. He worked for General Motors in a ball bearing factory before the children were teens. Then our family of six moved from Connecticut to Durango, Colorado. There, he and my mom did whatever they had to do “to makes ends meet.” He was a construction worker at Purgatory Ski Area, as an electrician assistant at Tamaron Resort, a salesman for Primrose Oil, a truck driver for Coca-Cola and a cook at the Durango Inn (where my mom was a waitress). When we returned to Connecticut he was re-hired at the General Motors plant, then laid off. He served as a custodian for the school district, and then as their mail delivery person. They “made ends meet” and launched their four children, then retired. Dad got a part-time job transporting cars for a dealership, and when he was home he was usually working outside in the yard. But dad was not a work-acholic. He also knew how to love and laugh.
His love for Mom and us kids was steadfast and gentle. Our family had dinner together every evening—until we became teenagers. We took vacations every summer to lots of fun places. We rode horses together at a ranch near Bayfield (CO), skied together at Purgatory, and frolicked in the ocean waves. My parents visited me at the seminary in Belgium and we toured around Europe. They prayed for me while I was on my extended leave of absence, and let me go tearfully when I wanted to move to Denver. After 41 years of marriage, Dad converted from Lutheran to Catholic and I gave him Holy Communion at my diaconate ordination. In a gesture of unconditional love, the pain of which I will never fully appreciate, they flew from Connecticut to Denver to surrender me into the ordaining hands of Archbishop Chaput. Then, as I was serving as pastor in Steamboat Springs, they astonished me by moving there to be with my sister and her family (and me). There we continued to share lots of love and laughter until their health began to decline.
My dad was a father for 62 years, and I’ve been a father for 22. I’m grateful for his example of work, love and laughter. I hope and pray that I can integrate these virtues into my life. And I’m grateful to all of you for the blessing of being the father of this wonderful parish family. For you and for my priesthood I praise the Lord in the words of today’s psalm: “It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praise to your name, Most High, to proclaim your kindness at dawn and your faithfulness throughout the night… How great are your works, O Lord!” (Psalm 92: 1-2, 5).